The clock's ticking

Alone with my thoughts
I lay by the phone
Waiting…
Hoping…
Dreaming…
Fantasising…
Waiting… waiting for you!
The clock’s ticking
My heart’s racing
My breath’s getting deeper
And you’re nowhere to be found…
Wondering…
I wonder what is this I feel…?
Is it love?
Is it passion?
Is it despair?
Is it lust?
Is it anger?
Is it… anything at all?
Or is it just me… alone… again!?
I wanna reach out and scream! But you’re nowhere to be found…
I wanna struggle
I wanna run
I wanna fight
I wanna hide
Or am I just scared of giving up?
I fear so little, and yet… so much!
Afraid of asking…
Afraid of staying…
Afraid of leaving…
Afraid of me… Or am I really just afraid of you…?
Tic
Tic
…and you’re nowhere to be found.
Missing you… Missing us!
I need to feel
I need to touch
I need to laugh
I need to cry
But I can’t… I can’t!!!
The clock’s ticking but I can’t hear it… not now… no longer…!
All I see, all I listen to… nothing but the solitude of our hearts.
Why…?
I look into the mirror, but who is this I see? A sad, distorted figure… An extension of you, but not me!
Laughing, I cry myself to sleep… But the clock’s louder now. Telling me you’re not here…
No! I can’t possibly bare that thought…
But there’s nothing to prove…
Nothing left to lose!
The phone’s ringing…
Struggling with my eyes
I fade away…
Fade away to a place where I’m nowhere to be found.